#Steps

I have been living in a void for a while now..but I could say that things are getting better.

My head is not into a lot of things that I was doing before. I find myself struggling and being very emotional, mostly because I enjoyed them more when she was living.

She would shower me with a lot of praise and words of encouragement; you could see pride written all over her face…her beautiful face😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘

It comforting to know that I’m not the only one feeling the loss…we are many! The difference is that mine is greater than everyone else’s😔

I get these attacks and I break down in private because I feel like everybody has moved on and I dont want to drag them all back and so a dear friend of mine told me to think about her, write about her and not hold back the tears. Thats how I was going to heal both as a writer and an individual. It’s working gradually.

It’s hard to go back to normalcy but I know she wouldn’t want me to be stuck in this empty space. Not from what we talked about last..oh no she wouldn’t #fingers snap#slay moment😕

Death is a numbing event and healing is a process. From the look of it, I’d say that I’ll get there through prayer (and your prayers).

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#TRUST

…Easier said than done. It’s the backbone to every conversation as it dictates its direction. As we know there are friends and acquaintances; the two parties come as a result of the difference in trust levels.

Most of the time we do overthink it, which later leads us to be choosy with our company. That is wrong. Take a leap of faith and open up to someone. Remember you are testing their loyalty and if you want to be trusted by someone, you should be honest.

It takes years to build trust, seconds to break it and forever to repair it. As Ernest Hemingway says, “The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.

#SUCCESS

The key to success…😕what really is it? Lately I’ve been in a vacuum, and we both know nothing goes down in there. Walking on the sidewalks as everything passes me by as I constantly ask myself is this all 2017 has for me?

Silence is my new best friend because all everyone seems to be interested in is “what have you been upto lately?” and to be honest, how depressing it is on my end to say nothing.

Stalking my friends has never been my thing and thank God it still isn’t.Their life their business…okaaaay well other than the whatsapp status😀.

Questions and more questions!!!!!

Tired of the migranes really. A beautiful thing comes up n a lot of negative variables just bring it all down to ashes. All that talk about wishes,dreams and putting actions in your dreams;gotta say has not been helpful😔.

But im not giving up!Its a lot of steps back but…

ll get there, hopefully i do get there. So whoever has this 🔑(key) i need it so that i can have that smile pasted all over my face. I do have a beautiful smile😊.

…Underneath

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I yearn for darkness, for the angels of the night,
For they are my safe haven, my perfect heaven,
Every moment of my life, I long..
To unsee the seen, the scene!
The horror he created, the trauma; I’m tormented,
The daily struggle to forget his haunting actions,
The nest, the cocoon he invested to create,
I knew right away, there and then,

I ran away to be sequestered from him,
To seek solace with people who understood my pain,
For that is where my shine is, where I find the light.
The sight of the golem, with a shiny epaulette on his bloody coat,
Walking with his huge hands, clapping, screaming,
Ranting after gaining the thrilling feeling of murdering,
After all the pain and suffering he had caused on his victims,
Satisfied with the killing.
Reminded me of the apothecary, with whom our love affair…
An affair I had become addicted to as it was…
Was sweet and sour, filled with melodious sounds of a brawl.
The abuse became me, the neck grasp and scars defined us.
The haunting memories: I see him, busy with his clasp,
Operating on his victim’s puckered scalp,
and finally…
Swaddling the fissured, desiccated body parts; stored jars,
In a warm fuzzy mat.

I speak in silence, not out of fright, but because in his presence,
His raw fragrance that tied up the loose ends,
Became…
my purpose; my essence
my shame; my decadence
my pain; my burden
my sad face; my sorrow_nest
I was worthless.

c/o. Angiee Hinga

#Dilemma

The bridge between family and friends is thin. Most of the time we tend to choose our friends over family. Why?  Friends are easy to manipulate. You can make them function to your favor!

Family will pressure the best out of you,occupy your space whenever wherever and sometimes want some of the shares of your success and achievements but…

They will always be your number one team. They will always have your back on everything. Even when you sway and make wrong decisions, they will welcome you back with open arms. They will always love you unconditionally.

Im not throwing shade to my lovely friends…#iloveyouguysforever😘

But its about time we walk, talk and develop “blood“ over friends!.

#Does He?

Today the decision is to post poetry.. We will have something figured out soon if you want us to post your stuff..

             Does He??

I bet he doesn’t know you cry yourself to sleep most nights, I bet he doesn’t know he occupy’s your mind every single minute of every day, I bet he doesn’t know when you spot a cute couple you picture the same for you both, I bet, he has no idea you know every detail about him,  you can’t help it. 

How his eyes light up when he speaks of something he’s passionate about,  how his dimples form slowly at the base of his cheeks when he smiles,  how his nose flares when he laughs and how his brow lifts when he’s amused.

I bet he doesn’t know your heart jumps and races when you see him, Your day brightens just by the mention of his name, You smile foolishly to yourself when you go through moments you spent together in your head.
I bet he’s not aware of the pain you have pent up because though you try to convince yourself there is a future for you both your mind doesn’t see it, deep down you doubt.

Of your wondering and anxiety about your place in his life,  of your worrying that sooner rather than later he will be bored of you,  I bet he doesn’t know that you are afraid to lose whatever thing you have going on, I bet he doesn’t know you yarn for the day he’ll carress your face, kiss your forehead and fold you into his arms but this time.

This time the gestures will hold deeper meaning. I bet. I bet he doesn’t know you love him.

Does he?

C/o

Khalee Blakat.

# Puffy Eyes😥

Cold weather has its advantages;  sleeping mood,  snuggling and cuddling,  love making, that hot chocolate Netflix and chill vibe… 

But it has it’s disadvantages too…Puffy eyes

We get puffy eyes and dark circles around the eyes every single time we do not have enough rest, undergoing stress or  allergies but it worsens and becomes regular when its cold. 

The long term effect of tolerating the dark circles around the eyes is that it causes wrinkles around the eyes:'( which catalyses premature aging 

We have to take care of this!  Both to the gents and we ladies.So.. 

To treat this,  

Tips: 

1) Take a pinch of black pepper powder. 

2) Take one teaspoon of coffee

3) Take a 1/4 teaspoon of coconut oil

4) Take water

5) Make a paste of the ingredients 

6) Apply the paste gently under your eyes and let it sit for 10-15 minutes. 

7) Rinse it off with lukewarm water and gently apply moisturizer 

P’s: if u don’t have time to make the paste,  in the morning as you are taking your coffee,  dip your finger tips in the beverage and apply the liquid under your eyes,  let it sit for the same 10-15 minutes

Then rinse or wipe it off gently😌

Whooaaa!!!  Hahah

Make sure u try it out… 

Love u fam.. Thanks for the continued support and feedback😚😚😚😚